Gugure! Kokkuri-san Episode 11

大人ドロップアウトでコスプレイ！
Otona Dropout de Cosplay
― Adult Dropout Cosplay!


●やはり我が君の残り湯に限る。
　Yahari waga kimi no nokoriyu ni kagiru
― Nothing beats my darling's leftover bathwater.

●月読本舗 変若ち水
　Tsukuyomi Honpo Ochimizu
― Tsukuyomi Store Water of Youth

Probably "ヴルヴ…味" means Volvic.

●これ若返りの水なんだぞ！
　Kore wakagaeri no mizu
― This is rejuvenating water!

●バブじゃ分かんねぇよバカ！
　Babu ja wakanneeyo baka
― I don't understand "goo goo," idiot!

バブー (babuuu) is an onomatopoeia that describes a baby's cry.

●ハーイ！チャーン！バーブー！ / そのしゃべり方はやめろ！
　Haaai! Chaaan! Baaa Buuu! / Sono shaberikata ha yamero
― Yaaah! Chaaa! Goo goo! / Stop talking like that.

He's mimicing Ikura-chan who can only speak three of these in a nationally popular anime, Sazae-san.

●小さいお子様の手の届かない所へ置いてください。
　Chiisana okosama no te no todokanai tokoro he oite kudasai
― Please put me somewhere small children cannot reach.

This description is often written in instruction manuals.

●自業自得だぜ、狗神。
　Jigou-jitoku daze Inugami
― You reap what you sow, Inugami.

[Brushup]
Girl Friend BETA Episode 2
○またこれに似た自業自得という言葉もありますが
　Mata kore ni nita jigou-jitoku to iu kotoba mo arimasuga
― There's also a similar proverb that says, "You reap what you sow."

●悔い改めな。
　Kuiaratamena
― You should mend your ways.

●これは月神ブランド、高天原セレブに大人気。
　Kore ha Tukigami brand Takamagahara celeb ni daininki
― This is the Moon God brand, popular with all the Takama-ga-hara celebrities.

Takama-ga-hara (高天原 the Plain of High Heaven) is a place in Japanese mythology. In Shinto, Takama-ga-hara (or Takama no Hara) is the dwelling place of the kami. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takama-ga-hara)

[Idiom]
●めちゃんこ高いのを清水の舞台から飛び降りる気で買ったのに！
　Mechanko takai no wo kiyomizu no butai kara tobioriru ki de katta noni
― I took the plunge and bought ridiculously expensive spring water!

The popular expression "to jump off the stage at Kiyomizu" is the Japanese equivalent of the English expression "to take the plunge". This refers to an Edo period tradition that held that, if one were to survive a 13m jump from the stage, one's wish would be granted. Two hundred thirty-four jumps were recorded in the Edo period and, of those, 85.4% survived. The practice is now prohibited. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiyomizu-dera)

●おいおい家庭内暴力かよ？おっかね。
　Oi oi kateinai bouryoku kayo Okkane
― Now you're committing domestic violence? How terrifying.

●躾だ！
　Shitsuke da
― This is discipline!

●じゃあ大人としてお前らが飲んだ分、弁償してくれるか？
　Jaa otona to shite omaera ga nonda bun benshou shite kureruka
― Then, act like an adult and compensate me for what you drank!

●今、円高だから海外の霊薬の方が安く買えんじゃねぇか？
　Ima endaka dakara kaigai no reiyaku no hou ga yasuku kaen ja neeka
― The yen is strong right now. Can't you just get chap foreign miracle drugs instead?

By the way, the yen is falling sharply right now.

●神話のアイテムに為替相場が影響するのです？
　Shinwa no item ni kawase souba ga eikyou suru nodesu
― Are mythological items affected by the exchange rate?

●エリクサーのジェネリックなら安く買えんだろ。
　Elixir no generic nara yasuku kaendaro
― You can probably get generic elixirs cheap.

●エリクサーって錬金術師が作ったやつだろ？
　Elixir tte renkinjutsushi ga tsukutta yatsu daro
― Elixirs? You mean the stuff alchemists make?

cf. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elixir_of_life

●あんなよく分からん化学合成したもん恐くて飲めるか！
　Anna yoku wakaran kagaku gousei shita mon kowakute nomeruka
― I'm too scared to drink a product born from some confusing chemical reaction!

●コックリさんはオーガニック食品しか認めない。
　Kokkuri-san ha　organic shokuhin shika mitomenai
― Kokkuri-san only consumes organic foodstuffs.

●いけずすんな！
　Ikezu sunna
― Don't be so mean.

●言葉も分からぬ赤子をなぶってはいけませぬ。
　Kotoba mo wakaranu akago wo nabutte ha ikemasenu
― You must not torment children who can't speak.

なぶる(naburu): tease

●おじさんは少年の体が秘める恐ろしいほどの特権に気付いちまった。
　Ojisan ha shounen no karada ga himeru osoroshii hodo no tokken ni kizuichimatta
― I've just realized the terrifying privilege hidden within the bodies of young boys.

●スカートめくりしても無罪！
　Skirt mekuri shitemo muzai
― Lifting up skirts isn't a crime!

●外出を禁ずる。
　Gaishutsu wo kinzuru
― You are forbidden to go out.

●尊いものはパンツなのです？
　Toutoi mono ha pantsu nanodesu
― Panties... are sacred?

●スカートめくりの真骨頂はリアクションだ！
　Skirt mekuri no shinkocchou ha reaction da
― The true value of lifting skirts lies in the reactions!

●虫けらを見る目なのです。
　Mushikera wo miru me nanodesu
― You are a worm.

●突き詰めれば下着なんてただの布だ。
　Tsukitsumereba shitagi nante tada no nuno da
― Underwear's nothing more than pieces of cloth.

[Brushup]
Denki-gai no Honya-san Episode 5
○ただの布の塊だ。
　Tadano nuno no katamari da
― They're just a blob of cloth.

●縮地法でお子様の手の届かぬ高い所へ避難する市松であった。
　Shukuchihou de okosama no te no todokanu tokoro he hinan suru Ichimatsu de atta
― Kohina retreated to higher ground, out of reach of children, using teleportation.

The power is originally one of 仙術 (senjutsu: supernatural arts of Sennin).

●迷わずカニバるな！
　Mayowazu kanibaruna
― He cannibalized her!

●ぺーしなさい！ぺっ！
　Peee shinasai
― Spit it out! Spit!

●どやぁ
　Doyaaa
― Ya like that?

[Brushup]
Gugure! Kokkuri-san Episode 3
○どや。
　Doya
― Take it.

●人間ポンプか？
　Ningen pump ka
― What is he, a human pump?

A performer who swallows and pukes a goldfish is called "ningen pump."

●粉ミルクより母乳が欲ちい…
　Kona milk yori bonyuu ga hochii
― Instead of powdered milk, I want Mommy's breast milk―

●育児ノイローゼになるコックリさんだった。
　Ikuji neurose  ni naru Kokkuri-san datta
― Raising children made Kokkuri-san neurotic.

●脳みそごと幼児退行したコックリさんだった。
　Noumiso goto youji taikou shita Kokkuri-san datta
― Kokkuri-san's body and mind regressed to a child-like state.

●叩いて直るのは家電だけだぜ。
　Tataite naoru no ha kaden dake daze
― Hitting only works on appliances.

●泣く子も黙った。
　Naku ko mo damatta
― She frightened him into silence.

●これなら保健所に引き取ってもらえるのです。
　Kore nara hokenjo ni hikitotte moraeru nodesu
― Now the animal shelter win take you.

保健所: public health center

●人体模型通？
　Jintai mokei tsuu
― Anatomical models?

●高い高いしたら動かなくなったにゃあ。
　Takai takai shitara ugokanaku natta nyaa
― He stopped mobing while playing up, up, and away, meow.

●他界他界なのです。
　Takai takai nanodesu
― You tossed him up, up, and dead.

●発想が猟奇的すぎます。
　Hassou ga ryoukiteki sugi masu
― Your ideas are too grotesque.

●産地はともかく何の肉だよ?!
　Sanchi ha tomokaku nan no niku dayo
― I don't care where it was produced! What kind of meat is it?!

産地: production area

●捕食された！
　Hoshoku sareta
― It ate her!

捕食する(hoshoku suru): prey on

●カレーかと思ったらプレデターだった。何を言ってるか俺にもわからねえ。
　Curry kato omottara predator datta Nani wo itteruka ore nimo wakaranee
― I thought it was curry, but it was actually a predator. I don't even know what I'm saying.

That's a reference to Polnareff's line in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.
This is used as a meme and commonly called ポルナレフ状態 (Polnareff joutai).

●もしかしたら隠し味、間違えたかにゃ？
　Moshikashirata kakushiaji machigaetaka nya
― Did I use the wrong special ingredient?

●ちなみにここで「こんなのおかしいよ！僕、男の子なのに！」と涙目上目遣いで言うのがプロだにゃ！
　Chinamini koko de "Konna no okashiiyo! Boku otoko no ko nanoni!" to namidame uwamezukai de iu no ga pro da nya
― By the way, in this situation, a pro look up with tears in his eyes and say: "This isn't right! I'm a boy!"

上目遣い: up-from-under look

●品薄で入手困難。
　Shinausu de nyushu konnan
― Supplies are low, so it's difficult to get.

●偽物は2、3日で効果が切れてしまう粗悪品で
　Nisemono ha ni-sannichi de kouka ga kirete shimau soakuhin de
― The knockoffs are low-quality fakes that wear off after a few days.

●そして鬼の勢いで消費者センターに被害届をいれるコックリさんなのであった。
　Shoshite oni no ikioi de shouhisha center ni higaitodoke wo ireru Kokkuri-san nano de atta
― Kokkuri-san furiously submitted a complaint to the consumer center.

The Consumer Affairs Agency (消費者庁 shouhishachō) is an administrative agency of the Cabinet of Japan established on September 1, 2009 responsible for consumer protection. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consumer_Affairs_Agency)